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Talk:The Valtia Order Academy/@comment-9726917-20130617222642
Okay. All I can say is...wow. Just wow. This is your best chapter yet and I really did enjoy it. Let me start off by saying how much I enjoyed these characters :) And that it was indeed, a very tragic chapter too. Dramatic and tragic XDD It's more of my style too. When I read this story, I image this all very dramatically of course. And like you told me, how you picture the scenes of the story is anime-style contrary to how I picture the scenes in a more "classical, theatrical, no-cartoon" way. Call me boring, I know I am :( Where the action took place was the boat. The boat, it was this fancy baroque antiquarian boat. When I imaged what was happening inside the boat, I literally vividly could image how majestic and maginficent the boat's interior was. The ballroom, dining room, large stadium-like room where the climax scene was. The tense corridors. It was like a mansion, but a boat XDD You know what I mean yes? Let's talk about the biggest imporatance for me in any story and this story is no exception. The CHARACTERS. Before I do all the appraisals, blah blah blah, I DO have my criticisms for what went on this chapter. The first two are purely personal. One thing is...Haley's death. I did not like it. It was sad, and gave me a brief second of horrifc nightmare, but no worries. I am not dramtically upset or anything. Actually, looking back at it...I understood it. After all, what WOULD SHE DO if she DID survive? ...and the fact that...we do not talk anymore :/ Not because we fought or anything, it's just because what I told you a couple months back about how hard it is for me to keep in touch with people faraway which is why you and Josie should feel special as you two are the first people that I did successfully manage to keep in touch. Back to the story. Ryker...the fact that he was oh very graceful and was so SMUG. No. I do not like him. He is basically a "tragic anti-hero" seen in a sympathetic light, and expects the audience to somewhat feel sorry for him. But THEN AGAIN, whether or not I will like the character Ryker himself more then I lever liked the person whom he was based off ever since December of 2011 is beyond me. And then there were certain characters that just peeved me but I will talk about that later, and another thing I couldn't stand was how some characters (Zelda) were mentioned ONCE and soon, they are dead. No crowning moments, pure filler for some characters who were merely there to showcase how deadly the Preliminaries are. I can't think of any other "criticism" but I will tell you later in chat if I can think of one. Now let's talk about the character's specifically so. The characters themselves are still shining as ever, we see their fear and see how they manage their survival skills. So far, the characters who have survived this horrific enduring "challenge" per se set up by Elaque (whom I have no feelings for. At. All. Pure apathy.) <~< in this chapter were. (Besides Ryker, who I all ready talked about) ---- 1. Myself (obviously, IK I'm a narcissist XDDD I totally did love myself this chapter, you did a great job portraying me :D) 2. Kate (She is...badass. VERY BADASS. I like her and I think she will be one of my favorite characters) 3. Alessa (EUROPEAN SILENT GIRL FTW :D <3) 4. Mark (Mark...I really loved how laid-back he was throughout this entire thing. Compared to the many disturbing people...who I will TALK ABOUT!) ---- Now I will talk about the...antisocial "villains". Lucius and Jeffrey. Lucius was what I imagined to be this gothic, red-headed pale-skinned antisocial person. He did a very great "character performance" and served his role very well, switching from the calm, whispery "Everything will be all right" demeanor to the angry, violent wrath-filled serial killer that he was. It really did seem that he was "severely bipolar" if you know what I mean. But who really stole the show this chapte was Jeffrey. He was the MOST dramatic character you had in this entire Valtia Order Academy book BY FAR, MORE dramatic then Mattias, Lucius. But...he served his role VERY well, if not better then Lucius did. But as a person, I detest yet sympathize with. I detest him not because he was "evil" (quote-on-quote) but because of what he did to poor Haley -____- (This is the only "kill" you did that I did not like at all, but I understand it I guess :/) As for his sister, PURE filler. She did nothing other then serve as a mere satellite character. I sympathize because he was treated like a monster throughout his whole life, and that itself is very tragic and it's too bad that he never had the chance to understand/experience what being cared for as a person genuinely feels like. And then there is...Linwe and Bazba and Yorrick -__- All pathetic "creatures" yes I call them creatures because they are pure wannabes and I think you know this by now but I greatly detest badass wannabes who FAIL. Both IRL (unless their just very very kind-hearted) and in-story. Linwe and Bazba - RIDUCULOUS FAIL COMEDIC names to the extreme. I'm glad they only lasted for one chapter, and don't ever want to be surprised by oh, they are actually alive they will be back. No no no, I do not like them. Mikhail, although the killer, is sympathetic. This is a plus for me, and you did a GREAT CHOICE. He was the last person I'd suspect, after all his initial loyalty-facade really did make it seem he wasn't involved at all. I'd suspect someone like Daniel (jerkass -_-), Vicky (jerkass as well), or even Alessa (but this is not because she is a jerkass. This is because of the quote "beware the silent ones") Now let's go back in time in the earlier chapters and discuss what I think of...the four "misfits" As in Kevin, Scott, Jennifer and Terrence. Kevin...NO. NO NO NO NO NO. He was annoying from the start, but what mystifies me to THIS DAY is that he is based off of a specific someone we both knew and am somewhat surprised you would portray this specific someone in SUCH a NEGATIVE light, SO NEGATIVE that he was beyond and I mean BEYOND annoying. This goes for Scott too. Jennifer, I have nothing to say for her. And Terrence was probably the only one that didn't annoy me, he never really did anything he was just a blob. But I feel no emotion for Terrence. Jarvis...very complex character and more complex then what I imagined. Nevertheless, despite his coldness, I do prefer him over Veroxima and Takaya whom for both, I have excrutianingly high skepticism for both and still to this day, does not understand why these two "evils" are a part of the Valtia Order, who is supposedly supposed to handle WORLD AFFAIRS in Kajara. Jarvis was barely featured, but was important and the plot twist of him and Veroxima being lovers. Whether or not they still are? DK. DC ATM TBH. Acronym usage XDD. And then there's the Furfolk, the BRUTAL Matthias and...oh I don't know? Some random guy named Robert, yeah I don't know who he is. Some just like very very random guy right? XDDDDDDDD The Furfolk still remain badass :3 Colm and Tigerlily, I love them so! They are just so sweet they are like furry little Furfolk I want to hug because they are so adowable :3 :3 XDD Okay, I'm a little obsessed with them XDDD I cannot wait to see what they will bring soon :o Matthias. Brutal. Fierce. Well that's a bit of an understatement, just outright brutal. Strong hatred against humanity, ALL humanity it is very prejudice. Which is kind of annoying since his prejudice is GRAND, it's not "lite". But then again, it's justified that after all, they didn't treat Matthias very well so what do they (us) expect? I liked how he lightened up a ''little bit ''by the end of the chapter, and after all, you and Matthias could make really good friends. I honestly think maybe you have the same views as Matthias but less brutal (I think...I don't know) Then there is Y.O.U. I liked how you just let Kevin plummet to his death >:) I know, I sound sadistic but like I said, Kevin was an annoying weasel who had to go SOON and FAST. But I liked how you were in this chapter. Although, in all honesty. Why were you featured this chapter? TBH you weren't as relevant as most of the characters this chapter, all you did really was kill Kevvy and fight Matthias. Nevertheless, you were a great character...person...character. WHATEVER, BOTH! ---------------------------------------------- I shall finish this comment by saying, GREAT CHAPTER. There were a few things that peeved me a little bit, but overall, there were not great great great horrific problems that caused me to stop reading (not that I think this will chapter...will it?) And...there is your long 1,556 words comment!